Tinsel makes baby Jesus cry: Christmas tree rules to live by

At this very moment, thousands of people around the country are partaking in one of the great festive rituals: putting up the Christmas tree. Depending on your style, this means either an annual trip into the crawlspace (or garage, or wherever) to retrieve the dusty box that houses your plastic monstrosity or a visit to a Christmas tree farm where you will buy a real tree that will inevitably end up rotting on the street by early January.

Either way, the first of December is generally agreed as the correct day to begin this process.

Of course, some will go early, the same people who make loving Christmas their entire personality. While purists would argue that putting up the tree before December goes against the spirit of the season (baby Jesus would be so sad), that’s less of a concern. Personally, I think we should be more worried about those who leave their decorations up well into February, a surefire sign of mental illness.

Anyway, these are not the rules we are here to discuss. You see, if you believe the hype, Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year, though really it’s the most regulated. Whether you like it or not, we have developed a set of unspoken Christmas rules that must be followed. And nowhere is this more important than the composition of your Christmas tree and, by extension, the festive vibe of your house.

First, less is more when decorating the tree, especially when discussing tinsel. Tinsel is made from PVC, a highly flammable material that, once lit, is consumed by fire in seconds. Naturally, this was a popular choice for tree dressing in the 1980s and ’90s, when people didn’t care as much about perishing in a house fire.

However, these days we know it’s both incredibly unsafe and ugly, so to persevere with tinsel is equal parts reckless and tasteless. Having tossed your tinsel, you must next decide on a lighting scheme for your tree. Generally, white lights are considered more elegant and less offensive than coloured lights. However, coloured lights offer a nostalgic appeal – a throwback to when Christmas meant being bathed in a glow of red, yellow, green and blue.

Ultimately, this is a judgment call based on what suits your aesthetic. If, like me, your house is already tainted by kids’ stuff, then you may as well go nuts with the colour scheme.

For those still unsure, please refer to this comment on the official Reddit/Christmas thread posted by someone with the username Winter Snowman: “All white looks a little fancier or classic, but multicolour seems more fun, but either looks great. I love Christmas!”